After sharing with him the link to my blog, I receive his long distance call: “I like your writing” is his first line.
I laugh. Thank you. Why are you laughing? You don’t think I’m being honest? He was a francophone with basic Italian understanding and absolutely no Spanish. Like, what can you get from my texts?
It’s Cayetano, the man from my Belgian Affair. How would you know if I write properly? -I hear the music in your writings. His words moved my heart and made my eyes glitter even though I wasn’t able to see him. He called me every once in a while and we’d share text messages on a daily basis, as well as questioning ourselves over Soul Mountain, from Gao Xingjian, who unconsciously helped me understand what I was living. Through our conversations we had created some sort of shelter that seemed to bring us a bit closer; though we were physically, separated by France and emotionally, by his family and love life. His inconsistency, insecurities, immaturity…
When I decided to let him go he assured me: “You think more than you feel”. I knew that regarding us, his statement was correct, though not against other relationships I’ve had. I have lost myself so many times with others, that repeating it once again would mean ignoring all the previous lessons.