“So life began with the disappearance of the love object.” Narrates Jeanette Winterson on the second page of her book Love. “I am adopted and that fact has shaped my whole life. At six weeks old I lost the other half of my first love affair -my mother.” Certainly, life with this start couldn’t run the same way it does for any other human being born out of and raised by loving parents. I feel her and understand her. My case is similar, though I was thankfully adopted by a family that gave me more than I needed: infinite love. Even though my case is different to hers, I share the feeling, mostly, because once I learned that all my disenchantments with love were determined by that same breakup, that “disappearance of the love object”, I understood I had issues to solve. This blog was a start on that healing process.
Despite growing up with a lack – inherited from the relationship with my biological mother during my stay in her womb-, I admit I’ve had a marvellous life. Though the story is neither full of happiness, nor understanding – and the inbetween times were filled with discussions, fights and distress – now I can admit that I used to pay back my inherited lack with my adopted mother. I was unfair, arrogant and hateful.
The reason why I’m sharing this is just to make you readers conscious of how everything in this life is two sides of a same coin. Everything is something, and the lack of that something. Therefore, hate is nothing else than lack of love. But one true thing is, as Winterson says in her book: “What I want does exist if I dare to find it.”
This book is nothing more than a whole bunch of theories about what moves the world: love. I could keep on going with phrases from her, but I’d rather keep it simple and encourage you to discover it on your own. Happy reading.
“So many versions of love. So many love songs. So much that is romantic. Or sentimental.
I am still looking for clues. Still trying to understand what should be obvious, and isn’t: how to love.
How to love?
Experience. Heartbreak. But hearts are mad to be broken. It’s integral to the design.
Writing is the best way I know to talk about the most difficult thing I know: Love.”